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  His concern almost undid her. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, hating the tremble in her voice.

  “Fine. Do you want me to drive?” his gentle tone made her want to weep.

  “No.” She fought back her tears as he laid his hand on her arm.

  “Tiern, let me drive.”

  Without a word, she got out and without looking in Jax’s direction, switched places with Sami.

  “What’d he do now?” Sami asked as he started the car but she couldn’t answer without bawling.

  “Right. Forget I asked,” Sami said, and she knew he’d give Jax an earful later but didn’t care.

  Once home, Tierney started for the door, only to find herself unable to step inside. I can’t just go to bed and sleep. Without a word, she turned and walked over to her bike.

  “Where are you going?” he asked with alarm from behind her.

  “I can’t go to bed. I need to ride.” Though she hated worrying him, she really needed to be alone, to fly super-fast, and since she couldn’t actually fly yet, her motorcycle was the next best thing.

  “Please Tiern, it’s late and you’re upset,” he pleaded.

  She shook her head. “It’s okay, I’ll be fine.”

  “But you don’t have your helmet, and you’re not dressed to ride, your dress—” Sami protested.

  Face grim, she hiked up her dress and threw her leg over her bike. Sami stared in horror. “I’ll be fine.” She repeated the lie.

  Guilt at upsetting Sami filled Tierney as she rode off. He didn’t deserve it, but she needed the biting winter air to numb her. Her anger was like kindling, it set her power blazing. She knew it caused the violent wind storm back at the club, and if she hadn’t been so devastated, she’d have enjoyed the rush a little more.

  Tierney gunned the bike and raced down the gravel drive, before turning onto the empty highway with reckless abandon. Demon spawn, the mixed signals Jax sent her, drove her nuts. I actually thought he wanted me. I’m such an idiot! The chill wind drove her tears into the tangled hair whipping out behind her.

  ***

  SAMI WATCHED TIERNEY ROAR off into the night and tried not to panic. Sometimes he wanted to kick his brother’s ass. He tried calling Jax telepathically. Then pulled his phone from his pocked when he didn’t get any answer. Dammit, Jax. Where the hell are you, and what the fuck did you do? He wanted to scream at the heavens, but instead he sat down on the step by the door and dialed Jax’s cell. No answer. Shit!

  The angels knew he loved his messed-up brother, but Tierney was like a sister to him. He couldn’t stand to watch Jax hurt her. She and Jax shared such an obvious bond. A bond that he had always envied and he couldn’t understand why Jax fought it so hard. Especially since that was the kind of love Sami ached to have more than anything in life.

  A few times he had tried to talk sense to Jax, but the stubborn ass always refused to listen. Still, as hard as he fought it, Sami knew Jax would never be happy with anyone but Tierney.

  He sighted with relief when thirty minutes later, Jax’s car creeped up the driveway. He knows he fucked up, Sami thought, shaking his head at how slowly Jax was driving. Ready to tear a strip off his brother, Sami pushed to his feet and waited until the car came to a stop, then, trying to rein his temper in, he counted to ten until Jax cut the engine. Five long strides later, he wrenched the driver’s side door open. “What the hell did you do?”

  “Sami,” Jax said, voice slurred.

  “Seriously man, what the hell? Are you drunk?” Sami started to give him shit, then frowned. Leaning into the car near his brother, he drew in a deep breath. Nope, he didn’t detect the slightest scent of alcohol or nectar. Jax wasn’t drunk.

  Sami studied his brother. Sweat poured off Jax as he attempted to climb out of the car. “Jax?” A warning tickled Sami’s mind as he helped Jax out, and put an arm around him right before he could collapse.

  “W-where’s … Tierney?” Jax shivered and groaned, doubling over in pain.

  “What the hell?” Sami scowled and then sudden understanding, followed quickly by fear, filled him.

  “I … don’t feel … good.” Jax coughed.

  “Shit. You’re going through your Awakening.” Heart racing, Sami helped Jax over to the door.

  “Tierney!” Panicking, Sami called telepathically, though he wasn’t the least bit surprised she didn’t answer.

  “Wh-where is she?” Jax asked again.

  Sami clenched his jaw at his brother’s question. “She’s gone, asshole.”

  “What?” Jax asked, teeth chattering.

  “Yeah, bro. This has gotta be one of your biggest fuck ups to date.” Sami helped Jax into the house, kicked the door shut behind him, then practically carried Jax through the kitchen and the great room.

  “P-put me down,” Jax panted when they got to the stairs. “W-What do you m-mean, gone?”

  “She took off on her bike.”

  “Wha—no! Shit.” Jax groaned and lowered his head into his hands. His despair took all the anger out of Sami and he sank down onto the stairs as well.

  “Yeah, in her dress and no helmet,” Sami added, gut churning. “Shit, Jax, what the hell?”

  Jax remained silent.

  Sami pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Tierney’s number. The call went to voicemail. Bloody hell. He left a message then stood up. “C’mon.” He put an arm around Jax’s waist and helped him up to the middle landing, where Jax started to convulse. Shit! We need Tierney. Sami eased Jax back to the floor. “I got ya.”

  The convulsing stopped thirty seconds later. “T-Tiern—”

  “I know, bro, I know.” Sami trembled in fear.

  “I’m sorry, Sami.”

  “It’s not me you need to apologize to—c’mon.” He helped Jax up the rest of the stairs.

  Defeated, Jax said, “Too late. I fucked up.”

  “Yeah, you did, you dick, and you’re gonna make it right with her.” Sami sighed. “Come on, we need to get you to your room.”

  They managed to make it into Jax’s room before he doubled over in pain again. Sami’s anger dissolved as worry took over. Their kind often died during their Awakening, and the thought of losing his brother, terrified him. I just can’t lose him …

  “I’m no good for her.” Jax groaned as Sami pulled back the blankets and helped his brother into bed.

  “Yeah, you’re a complete idiot. Stop talking shit,” Sami scolded. “You need to get over yourself, man. Quit chasing her away. You know she’s the one. I wish I could find someone as right for me as she is for you.”

  “I love you, S-Sami. I never meant—” Jax mumbled, and the shame and tears in his eyes did it for Sami.

  “Damn. You’re such an ass.” Sami wiped his eyes. “I love you too, bro. You damn well better fight this.” He pulled the blankets over Jax, and wiped his eyes again as he turned away. “I’m going to go get you some water.” But he barely made it to the door before Jax growled, and tossed the blankets off himself. Sami rushed back over to him right as Jax’s eyes rolled back in his head. He was burning up.

  ***

  TIERNEY RODE LONG AFTER her tears dried up and emotionally drained, pulled over and fished her phone out of the purse strapped across her chest. She’d felt it vibrate a few times and knew it must be Sami calling. Now she saw numerous messages.

  Jax hurting her didn’t excuse her worrying Sami. Ignoring the messages, she called him back. Maybe her dad came home, or called, or—

  Sami answered, panic in his voice. “Tierney.”

  “I’m sorry, Sami—”

  He interrupted her. “Tiern, listen, you need to come home right away.”

  A shiver of dread rushed up her spine. “Why? What’s happened?” She imagined the police had found her dad’s body or something.

  “Jax is going through his Awakening.” His panic became hers.

  “What? No, he can’t be.”

  “He is.”

  “But how. Oh.” No.
The whole evening flashed through her mind and Tierney knew Sami spoke the truth. She had sensed something was wrong with Jax earlier, but never thought that could be it.

  “Please.” Sami’s voice shook. “He’s not doing well.”

  “I’ll be home asap.” Fear flooded her system with adrenaline.

  “‘Kay—”

  “Sami?”

  “Yeah?” He sounded so scared, so lost.

  Her voice broke. “I’m really sorry.”

  “Okay, just, be quick. Please?”

  “I will, and Sami? Please tell Jax I’m on my way?”

  “I will.”

  She practically flew down the highway, trying not to panic, but going faster than before. She thought about what her dad told them about the Awakening. It lasted from twenty-four to forty-eight hours. There’d be chills, burning fever, possible shakes, and lots of pain. The degree differed with each person, but the weaker ones didn’t survive. Jax is strong, she reminded herself as she sped through the night. But was he? She also knew he was pretty fucked up mentally, no matter how he tried to hide it—she knew.

  Tierney thought about the Awakening. Being emotional—happy one minute, sad, angry, confused the next—foggy headed, tired and achy, as if sick, were all common symptoms. And sick was not something they were used to. Zander said as long as another Dracones, or Fallen helped them through the ordeal, their chances of survival would be good.

  Unfortunately, there wasn’t an exact method to helping someone through their Awakening. Each person was different, and the help needed would differ as well. Zander was confident they’d survive, and Tierney never questioned his faith in them before, but now that she needed to help Jax, she wondered. Did he just say that to ease our minds?

  She thought about how Jax appeared earlier. What if he had believed the whore in the car really was me? What if the whole fiasco was the result of his Awakening? Furious for not listening to him, or even her intuition, Tierney wanted to kick herself for being so jealously stupid. Jax was going through his Awakening and she wasn’t there for him. What happened earlier didn’t matter. She’d never be able to live with herself if he didn’t survive.

  Tierney flew up the driveway spitting gravel behind her, and spotted Sami waiting at the door, fear etched on his face. “How is he?” she asked when she dismounted from her bike.

  “In pain. I don’t know what to do. I gave him water.”

  She went over and hugged him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Tierney.” Sami wrapped his arms around her and shuddered.

  Pulling away, she yanked the door open and with Sami close behind her, rushed through the house. But when she entered Jax’s bedroom and spied him shaking and shivering under the blankets, her heart stuttered in her chest. Oh gods!

  “He was pouring sweat. I managed to peel his clothes off. But now he’s cold again.” Sami sounded so lost, and Tierney’s heart twisted for him. With her eyes on Jax, she climbed carefully up on the bed.

  “Jax?”

  “T-Tiern?” Bright red eyes flickered open, shocking her.

  “I’m here. You’re going to be okay,” she reassured him, even though her heart raced with fear.

  “Dreaming,” Jax mumbled.

  Tierney shook her head. She could feel his shame and horror at what happened earlier. “No, I’m really here, you are not dreaming. I’m real.” She gave him a little smile even though she felt like crying.

  “T-Tiern, what, are you—” He gazed at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world and she could feel his awe. She also knew she wasn’t worthy of it and this was just the Awakening messing with him.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” she repeated.

  “No.”

  “Shh. It’s me.” She let all her love shine in her eyes and shook her head at his thoughts.

  It can’t be her, can it?

  He must really be out of it, since his mental shields were non-existent.

  “I, I never meant—I’m so sorry,” he whispered and shivered.

  “Shh, I know, it’s all right. You’re going to be fine.” She touched his forehead. “Shit, you’re burning up.”

  “N-no. ‘S not.” He winced and grabbed his head. “Hurts. My skull.” Tierney took the cloth Sami handed her, and wiped Jax’s brow with it. “I’m s-s-so c-c-cold,” he said, teeth now starting to chatter.

  “I know. We’re going to get you warm,” she said, as Sami piled more blankets on his brother.

  Jax stared up at her. Those are the most beautiful eye’s I’ve ever seen. Sadness filled her at his self-hatred. I screwed up so badly. I’m always messing up. Why can’t I be normal? I don’t deserve her help. “I know I’m an asshole but, please don’t leave me,” he whispered.

  Tierney shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere.” Moisture filled her eyes at his plea as pain racked him. She hated to see him suffer like this. Uncomfortable in her dress, she wanted to go change, but leaving was not an option at the moment. Jax shivered again. Oh, to hell with it. “Sami, unzip me,” she said and climbed off the bed.

  She rolled her eyes when Sami blushed, and turned her back to him. “I don’t want to lie in this dress and ruin it.”

  “Yeah, I’m not saying anything.” He unzipped her and turned away.

  “Thanks.” She quickly peeled the tight material off, tossed the dress on the chair in the corner, and then climbed under the covers in her panties and bra.

  Eyes closed and shields down, Jax lay under the multitude of blankets and shook uncontrollably. Tierney bit her bottom lip and slid in next to him. She grimaced at the pain consuming him, slipped an arm under his neck and then snuggled up close. Right away he began to relax, then strong arms wrapped around her. Oh man, I feel so small beside him.

  “T-Tiern,” Jax whispered and tucked his head into her neck.

  “Yeah, I got ya.”

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

  “I know, Jax.”

  When the shaking finally stopped, he lay quiet, snuggled up against her, his skin warming hers. “I screw everything up.” The depth of his shame and disgust made her ache.

  “Shh.” She fought to keep his feelings from overtaking her as she tried to calm him.

  Don’t deserve her help … she heard, even though she wasn’t meant to, and his anguish damn near broke her heart. “Shh. No more of these thoughts. I’m here.”

  Please don’t give up on me …

  Tears finally streamed unchecked down her cheeks, and Tierney knew she never would. It wasn’t in her to ever give up on him. He was her other half, whether he acknowledged it or not.

  Then a sharp lance of pain ripped through Jax like a hurricane, making her suck in a deep breath at the intensity, amazed that he wasn’t screaming. Sami dragged a chair over beside the bed, and his face blanched with horror and fear, reflecting her expression.

  “Hey, shh,” she tried to sooth Jax, but it wasn’t helping. Starting to feel inadequate to the task, her panic began to spiral out of control.

  Then a new, but familiar voice popped into her head. “Tierney, I know how you can help Jax.”

  “Wolf?” She started to tell him to get the hell out of her head, when his words registered.

  “Yes, it is I. My name is Kyrian.”

  “What do I do?” Tierney pushed her anger away, desperate and willing to accept any help at all.

  “Open your shields, and concentrate on his pain.”

  That Kyrian knew their names barely registered in Tierney’s mind, her fear for Jax completely consuming her. Doing as Kyrian said, she closed her eyes and dropped her shields, letting all of Jax’s pain in. Damn, how can he stand this? Suddenly overwhelmed, she fought to push it away, but nothing happened.

  “Concentrate,” Kyrian repeated.

  “I am.” Frustrated and scared at the brutal depths of the agony, she tried to do as he said, but another bolt of agonizing pain ripped through Jax, bowing his body up in her arms. Tierney hung onto him and ran her hands ove
r his back. Her heart broke even more at the horrific raised scars underneath her fingertips.

  “Concentrate!” Kyrian snapped, and although he drew her back to the moment, he was beginning to make her angry. But he wasn’t the problem. Working on focusing, she willed the pain away.

  “I know it hurts,” she said aloud, but Jax didn’t respond, and his shallow breathing made her panic. “Kyrian, please. Help me, tell me what to do,” she begged, as pulsing waves, deadly shards ripped through Jax, making her cry out.

  “I’m done Tiern,” Jax’s words whispered through her mind, making her scared for him. “No Jax, no—you fight this!” she said, desperately shaking him as he passed out. “Kyrian—please!”

  “Think of yourself as a conduit,” Kyrian said.

  “Jax.” Sami climbed up on the bed and patted his brother’s face, trying to wake him.

  Tierney closed her eyes and concentrated on the growing pain, then sucked in a sharp breath when the pain veered course and made its way to her. Ow. That freakin’ hurts!

  “Samarias, put one hand on Jax and the other on Tierney—help her to focus,” Kyrian instructed.

  Sami did and when he touched Tierney, their power combined with a sizzle and directing the pain became much easier. Intent on what she was doing, Tierney almost missed what Kyrian said next.

  “Think of Jax’s pain as layers. Peel them back, but don’t forget to take it into yourself as you do. Keep going, until you get to the source.”

  Doing as instructed, Tierney peeled back layer upon layer, like an onion, pulling everything into her and absorbing it. The thick gelatinous waves, with thin cobwebby-veins— zipped here and there like bolts of lightning. She reached inside the goop and yanked, tearing at the strands. Jax’s chest barely moved, which didn’t help her concentration, but she knew if they stopped, that would be it.

  As she continued to grab and twist each strand, pushing it aside, the agony eased a little, allowing her to break through. She was surrounded by dull, throbbing waves that rushed at her, then rolled away again, before she managed to grab onto them.

  “Now, imagine a dial, and crank the pain back,” Kyrian instructed.